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This story is written from the perspective of a local adoptive family regarding their journey of their second adoption through public adoption. We thank this family wholeheartedly for sharing this beautiful story!
Take a moment and think back to what life was like when you were a teen. What do you think would have happened to you if you had no place to call home, nobody to help you fill out job applications, nobody to be there to plan a high school graduation party, help you get ready for prom, practice driving, etc.? Even as adults, many of you probably turned to your parents for something whether it was for advice, tips on how to do something, somewhere to go for the holidays, or a good home cooked meal.
You hear time and time again, "Adoption is forever." It is very true that adoption is forever. It is also very true that adoption can impact the lives of an entire family in a very powerful and positive way. In the midst of all the positives about adoption, the truth that adoption can be challenging and have “bumps in the road” years after the adoption finalized is very real.
When Cebien Alty’s wife, Joy-Lynn, brought up the subject of becoming foster parents, as her biological mother had been during her adolescent years, his quick reply was a resounding “NO!" He wanted to focus on having children of their own and was quite honestly worried about the "type" of children in the foster care system.
My wife, Joy-Lynn and I became Foster Parent Mentors (FPM) through Heartland for Children in 2012. When we were approached with the opportunity to be an added support for incoming Foster Parents, we jumped at the opportunity because we saw the value in having someone who other Foster Parents could relate to as being an invaluable resource; especially, if the individual(s) were completely new to the fostering and/or parenting experience.
As FPMs through Heartland, we've had the chance to interact with incoming Foster Parents on many levels including assisting with respite, providing guidance or best practices with difficult behavioral issues, advocating for a child who had to be moved from one home to another, making recommendations on working with case management, providing another vantage point through the process of Termination of Parental Rights (TPR), and many other areas that Foster Parents can encounter during their first and continuing years of child advocates.
What we've gained as FPMs is a heightened level of understanding of how important it is to identify the needs of incoming Foster Parents. Being able to make recommendations on how the training component has and can continue to successfully equip incoming parents with the proper training and education; is a value add that Heartland has really welcomed input on.
Cebien Alty - HFC Foster Parent, Foster Parent Mentor